why must people around me be so disappointing.
i don't know what's the purpose of life.
you live, you learn, you meet people and you get hurt.
i wonder what's the meaning of friends sometimes.
they say it as when you need them they will be there.
i don't think it applies at all. maybe they never understood.
doubted me till i have nowhere to hide.
for the real reasons i'm forced to give things up.
i'm not blaming them. just that i don't think things will be better if i'm the only one who is willing to make changes.
yet people changed and turn things the other way.
what am i supposed to do? i cant hole a grudge towards it too.
so? what do you want me to do? say everything out to vent it.

when i'm not well, fine, you sure can ask me how i am.
i don't ask for more as i slowly realize what i need cant be gotten.
all that was stressed on me i will remember them for life.
gotta be stucked here forever. i cant do any single thing to make things right also.
don't blame me for not being myself like how i was the last time.
cos somebody took that away from me and got me real down till i lost the will to speak.
the confidence is gone in a negative person.
no more smiles and happiness at the end of each day.
more people misunderstands me anyway.
so do you want me to care?
when they dont even care and assumes things are still the same.

who ever looked into why i had to think things that way.
not that i never wanted to say.
if i spoke who'll lend their ears to me and listen quietly to me.
i need none of your advices no more.
as nothing seem to improve as it gets on.
just forget about who i was and what i used to do.
i'm no longer the same person eversince things went wrong.
nobody bothers to make things right after so long.
it doesn't surprise me when my friends have said i changed.
so tearful and depressed for little things in my life.

seems to be so hopeless.
i just wanna give up on everything.
hopes that were once enlightened.
and those that were once in one piece.
friends can never be the same again.
i've tried and am tired i want no more hurt.
and they never knew what i wanted to tell out of what i write.
or nobody ever came to ask me or bother about it.
so i guess this is pointless too.
everything for me is gone.
gone.
forever.