"its just emotions, taking me over.."

sometimes, i feel as if the whole world dont understand me at all. sometimes, i feel that at a split seconds things may crumble just like tt.. sometimes, i feel as though there is no one whom i trust can let me pour out all the emotions i want.. sometimes, i feel so out of place i just wanna leave it so much.. sometimes, it scares u till u dont wanna speak up anymore..

i know people see me in a way, they never thought of what could be the reason behind it. nobody will think more than what they see.. cos its just how i present myself. its a way to hide my feelings or what that's not supposed to be known.. often misunderstood. so people are often judged wrongly.. cant be blamed also. cos its u who dont wanna tell mah.. but..

if i never say or express out doesnt mean it does not exist.

my life have been topsy turvy ever since **.. think i'm suffering from insomnia. everynight before i go to sleep will start to think about so many things, just anything and they seem to pile up more and more as each day pass. i wish to tell it to somebody, but they wont listen, or probably because i cant say it.. my appetite had gone down.. people say i lost weight. i cant even finish a meal.. i long to just rot myself at home and not face anybody. i start to hate life even though i've found something to like.

why is everything going opposite of my life so suddenly?

i dont even know what's wrong with myself. she tell me to get over it.. but how to? easier said than done. i cant show it out from deep within my heart, so i have to face other people doing the same thing. if i've told it out earlier.. maybe things would have been different.. friends may still be friends.. life can still go on like the old days.. but i feel lost. and lost more than what i have.. why must it be like this?

a decision was made.. but too late. too many ups and downs. sometimes i just love sitting in front of the computer, listening to all the sad songs n sob. lifeless and hopeless. for people who dont understand me they'll say i'm sensitive or naive. or i always have a problem. so depressing. blah blah blah.
who actually asked about the story behind it before making a conclusion?

i'm the black sheep, or the odd one out. i feel like a loner. i keep my mouth shut nowadays. maybe we're really different. in so many ways. u guys are all the same, but me, well maybe i'm really out.
probably i needa get back to where i came from and analyse it.

i'm down, wanna shout it out loud, get some place to vent it all out, wanna forget everything, wanna stop what's going on, wanna make things right. feel downright unfair..

Have You Ever?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will