if fate wants it this way, why cant they just let me leave peacefully, in a better situation then what it used to be?

why cant we control what we already expect will happen?

why cant all the miserable and sorrow let me go just for now?

why do i feel the same as if history is repeating itself, over and over again?

why should i always meet up with people just like you, so much that they make me wanna keep a distant from them again as i'm scared to be hurt another time?

why must sarcastic people exists and hurt so much like their words are like salt spitting at your wound?

why why why do i find myself, liking somebody like u again?!





i dont get it. its so frustrating i wanna runaway from it.
just another month i see u again.

1 month.

just to find myself still lost?

i need 1 month to realize it?

what a joke.

if anybody knows it they'll be laughing way off.

i cant believe i actually waited and had last hopes.

the promise might seem to be broken by me.

what else can i expect?

i dont see myself as i used to.. i dont feel as though its where i belong to.. hopes are dashed in just a minute..

when i look into your eyes,

then i noticed,

things really have changed.

and soon, till this day.. i know its time..
though so hard to make a decision.

to leave.

shall i go to see him for the last time?

the last of very last?



......i don't know my efforts and words could just slipped off again.....

gosh i dont know what i;m typing.
i'm just very sad. these days.
endlessly i feel nothing can make me look forward anymore.
everything is gone so fast.
a chance is just gone. like this for the very fact.

i cannot bear..actions speak more than words.
but nothing can be done now.